Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Just Not Into You?

I watched a show many months back and I think there is a book ,"He is Just Not Into You?"
Though it was mainly for romance and dating, let's just extrapolate into the lives of the lonely and empty.

Humans much like Sims yearn for social company.
To be acknowledged, to be praised, to be shot down, to discuss, to be inflamed, to bicker or plain gossip.We love to be the centre of attention even if it boils down to one person. Actually most people just it with one or two or three. Crowds of millions might just call for propranolol.

Nevertheless very few enjoy being lonely.

Yes, we love our moments of solitude. Alone is when one hears one's own voice. This is important for this self forms the crux of impulses and split-second decisions which matter.
It however best kept in durations of moments.

But when it stretches out into a monotone that you start hearing your own echos, feel alone even when you are amongst people and the fact that people actually only converse to you when they need you; seems to be like they are just not into you as yourself. The worse being those moments when you are physically alone for a few seconds and it hits you like a truck: the realization of the ugly side of everything superficial.

Not that anything is wrong with you. Even if you are "difficult", every cloud does have its silver lining. Sometimes it is appearance, sometimes it is in the nature of being reserved, sometimes it is the boundaries of norms and the list is truly endless. Plainly it is hard to meet like-minded people who aren't stereotypical. I still haven't met someone who likes paleontology and astronomy. Sometimes it is also the part about the lack of reciprocation: you are there with a 110% invested and they seem to throw you blue moons' worth of responses for your many missed calls.

Yet we do meet people who are like-minded though they can easily fall into the "just not into you?" category when you haven't heard from them like for awhile. That is when you take a breath, try to clear ,"Lonely ... I am so lonely" out of your head and stop being a little selfish ... People have lives to live just like you do. Unseen to you are their many commitments, obligations and a many other things pleasant and unpleasant. It is of little compensation but a logical rationale nevertheless.

It is sometimes not always about you. Yes people are not always into you. Some people plainly need you for your abilities rather than your own emotional needs. I always imagine that you end up being dry, crusted and extremely lined if you only think about this.

This is because it is truly depressing and restless but think about the millions who live a physically much difficult life than yourself. Going to school involves kilometres on foot, getting clean water being a miracle and suddenly apple martinis and your need for devotees seem guilty.

Oh perspectives! Nasty essential speed-breakers are they? Just not into you or are you yourself not into yourself? Or is this feeling deeply rooted on the need to fill up your time? Endless debates that we orchestrate ourselves which actually have simple solutions:

Fill your time.
Live your life.
Stop thinking about stopping.
And you will realize happiness is neither an exclusive privilege or unaffordable luxury.

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