Saturday, February 16, 2008

PhD in Exposing Crap

Maybe one of these days I should start on a PhD thesis on identifying the malevolent falsities found in the World Wide Web. I seem to have a knack for these things as I constantly receive and spend time validating what I call as utter trash.

The following really got me spooked as it looked SO bona fide and I almost fell for it if not of my sudden impulse to cross-check with Wikipedia:

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CHECK TOILET SEATS BEFORE USE !!!

Three women in KL, turned up at hospitals over a 5-day period, all with the same symptoms. Fever, chills, and vomiting, followed by muscular collapse, paralysis, and finally, death. There were no outward signs of trauma. Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood. These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common. It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same Restaurant along Jalan Kuchai Lama within days of their deaths.

The health department descended on the restaurant, shutting it down.

(Wait ~ If it was really true, wouldn't they have been in the papers; I do read the papers or at least am surrounded by people who read them. I smelled a rat.)

The food, water, and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail. The big break came when a waitress at the restaurant was rushed to the hospital with similar symptoms. She told doctors that she had been on vacation, and had only went to the restaurant to pick up her check. She did not eat or drink while she was there, but had used the restroom.

(The plot thickens.)

That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove up to the restaurant, went into the restroom, and lifted the toilet seat.

(How CSI - Horatio! Things became more fishy...)


Under the seat, out of normal view, was a small spider. The spider was captured and brought back to the lab,where it was determined to be the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata), so named because of its reddened flesh color. This spider's venom is extremely toxic, but can take several days to take effect. They live in cold, dark, damp climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere.

(Ah! Building up to the climax - including bits of facts like exploiting a real spider ... I am hearing Oscar buzz!)

Several days later a lawyer from JB showed up at a hospital emergency room. Before his death, he told the doctor, that he had been away on business, had taken a flight from Indonesia, changing planes in Singapore, before returning home.

(The before death statement - pure soap opera.)

He did not visit the restaurant, while there. He did, as did all of the other victims, have what was determined to be a puncture wound, on his right buttock.

(The spider now can tell difference between right and left, it is even smarter than yours truly who still has trouble reading left and right. How embarrassing of me!)

Investigators discovered that the flight he was on had originated in India. The Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of the toilets of all flights from
India, and discovered the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata) spider's nests on 4 different planes!

(Wow! What survivor spiders! Does the CAB exist? I don't know but I welcome any news on the CAB.)

It is now believed that these spiders can be anywhere in the country. So please, before you use a public toilet,lift the seat to check for spiders. It can save your life!

(Hmm ... no comments.)


And please pass this on to everyone you care about.

(This is what that seriously riles me and makes my BP shoot up a few notches. Fooling unsuspecting people into fear and panic and apparently from 1999)

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Now after reading the sensational crap, it is now the truth from our from our favourite online encyclopedia; WIKIPEDIA and how the Malaysian author or someone who knows Malaysia creatively stole it and did their little bit of hocus pocus:

The Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata), is a jumping spider found in various Asian tropical rain forests, in foliage in wooded environments.

Females can reach a body length of 9 to 11 mm, males up to 9 mm.

They occur in Singapore (new record), Indonesia, India, Bhutan.

In 2002 the spider became the subject of an email hoax claiming that it was a fatal spider found lurking under toilet seats in North Florida. This hoax was a rehashing of an older email circulated in 1999 with similar claims, except under the name South American Blush Spider (arachnius gluteus) - literally "butt spider". No such events ever occurred.

This email looks like this.

NEW POISONOUS SPIDER IN THE UNITED STATES A spider bite...please read........... And you thought the brown recluse was bad!!! Three women in North Florida ,

(North Florida became KL didn't it; the beginning of innovativeness!)

turned up at hospitals over a 5-day period, all with the same symptoms. Fever, chills, and vomiting, followed by muscular collapse, paralysis , and finally, death. There were no outward signs of trauma. Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood. These women did not know each other, and seemed to have nothing in common It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same Restaurant (Olive Garden)

(The original author had a grudge with Olive Garden while our Malaysian friend took offense to a Jalan Kuchai Lama restaurant ... more digging would uncover the true identity of the Malaysian hoaxter [Cross-check with all the restaurants there and their unsatisfied patrons, CSIans!])

within days of their deaths. The health department descended on the restaurant, shutting it down. The food, water, and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail. The big break came when a waitress at the restaurant was rushed to the hospital with similar symptoms. She told doctors that she had been on vacation, and had only went to the restaurant to pick up her check. She did not eat or drink while she was there, but had used the restroom. That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove out to the restaurant, went into the restroom, and lifted the toilet seat. Under the seat, out of normal view, was a small spider. The spider was captured and brought back to the lab, where it was determined to be the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata), so named because of its reddened flesh color.. This spider's venom is extremely toxic, but can take several days to take effect. They live in cold, dark, damp climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere. Several days later a lawyer from Jacksonville

(Jacksonville became JB - an innovation which must be given credit!)

showed up at a hospital emergency room. Before his death, he told the doctor, that he had been away on business, had taken a flight from Indonesia , changing planes in Singapore , before returning home. He did not visit (Olive Garden), while there. He did, as did all of the other victims, have what was determined to b e a puncture wound, on his right buttock. Investigators discovered that the flight he was on had originated in India. The Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of the toilets of all flights from India , and discovered the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata) spider's nests on 4 different planes! It is now believed that these spiders can be anywhere in the country. So please, before you use a public toilet, lift the seat to check for spiders. It can save your life! And please pass this on to everyone you care about.

So if you get an email like this, know it is a hoax.

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So now you know, even the most benign ones turn out malignant (that's too much Pathology...) and thanks to my hobby of "wikipediaing", it is one more trash decomposed.

Wait, that is our cute spider there below from the Hoaxbusters (http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org/hbicons/telamonia.jpg):

Cheers.

***
There was an individual's name affiliated for spreading this rumour which I callously published without contacting the person. My lack of research is foolishness on my part. Thankfully the person has contacted me and I am able to make the correction. I apologize for this serious mistake.

The dangers of forwarded mails ...

ravi

1 comment:

...You know, said...

I totally opened this email up today but it had ocurred at a series of Olive Garden resturants, with that same spider pic attached. Of course, I, like you, was skeptical, so I googled it, and you blog article, along with one from wiki came up. You'd think they would have a found a new hoax to give you the willies by now. Thanks for sharing!